Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Waiting....A Desert Experience

We beg, we plead, we bargain for God to answer our prayers. Does He really hear? Does He care? It appears there is no water in the desert, like the waiting will never end.
6 years ago.....I waited. There is no heartbeat. It was likely that I would miscarry my first baby. Scores of tests would follow.
2 1/2 years later we brought our little bundle of joy home from the hospital. He would soon have 8 specialists caring for him and undergo a battery of testing and procedures. 3 years we waited.
2 1/2 years later I was told that the tiny baby growing inside of me would not live. Again, I waited.
Why? I begged for answers. I knew God could work, "now"! Why the delay?
These were some of the most difficult times of my life. Loneliness enveloped. Fear gripped. Tears were unpredictable. Emotions wayward. My soul bled.
The uncertainty would require momentous amounts of faith. The waiting seemed endless...on all accounts.

I quickly realized how desperately I needed my Comforter. Circumstances required I lean into Him. He met me, hurting and broken. My soul laid bare as I began to know and experience trust in His Sovereignty. My how Abraham must have felt as he was about to sacrifice his precious son. Faith became a habitual practice as I claimed every scripture I could get my hands on. God knows our need to wander through the desert. Waiting is often our greatest time of growth as we rely on the One who has the answers. It is here that our relationship with our Almighty God becomes intimate.
It is during the drought that our roots begin to grow so fruit can be produced. Oftentimes, the water is right in front of us, we just have to immerse ourselves.
Perseverance must finish its work so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. God calls us to faith, trust, and persevere.

Perhaps these burdens were actually opportunities.
How awesome to know that our precious Lord always has our best interest at heart. His timing is always perfect, never late.
I look back at each experience and see Gods overwhelming faithfulness as He was growing and maturing my walk with Him. He walked alongside me and carried me when I could walk no more. He wiped away every tear that was shed and knew every worry before it surfaced.
I see the growth that has taken place and His soul desire that we lay our hearts at the altar and walk in obedience.
My miscarriage is now a healthy 5 1/2 year old little boy. My "sick" baby is now a healthy 3 yr old, and my baby boy that wasn't supposed to live is an exuberant 9 month old.

The waiting has come to an end. A tender appreciation for those wandering in the desert has arisen. If we could only see that God is loving us more than we could possibly imagine during painful situations, and remember to walk in gratitude as He is molding us into the likeness of His image. If we would just immerse in the water and surrender our hearts, how awesome to know that we are being made mature and complete on this journey headed home.


Dale & Summer said...

Unbelievable what He brought you through with ALL three of your boys...hmm...what is in store for their lives?!!! Sum

Amy Danielle said...

Really neat testimony. I am amazed at how similar the thought runs to what I wrote in my last post...

Thanks for this.


Amy in Peru said...

sweet and precious are these moments when we 'lean into the comforter'... a closeness not to be had at other times.

thanks for sharing this sweet exchange. it is hard to trust sometimes. but always right.

amy in peru

Heather of Swallowing A Moose said...


I needed to hear that today.

Your richly blessed!

Anne said...

Your blog is beautiful and your story is divine. Thank you so much for sharing your life with so many lovely words! God bless you as you continue your Sacred Journey!

Jenny said...

Your faith and His comfort...amazing story!

Tightwad In Training said...

Thank you for sharing your heart!!! Please know that I have prayed for you. God is a giver of good gifts and He hears your cries. Several weeks ago when i find out that I can never go back home to Belarus, I cried and cried and cried. I then questioned God, how in the world will I ever see my dad. A family member shared this quote with me.

“Faith doesn’t mean we will always feel the power of God in our lives. But faith does mean that we will somehow find the strength—even in the midst of our greatest weaknesses-to shout, “Where are you God?” That cry to the heavens, even if it seems to be made in moment of little faith, is actually a moment of great belief that God is present and listening”. said...

So true.