Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Love Gift

I stare into his big blue eyes, those rosy cheeks and pink lips, his gaze never leaves mine. Only space between us, nothing can separate. Nestled in the warm embrace, arms tucked into my chest, he smiles big. He was a great surprise, this boy of mine. Unexpected, an unfathomable gift I wondered, I worried.

As the sun would climb, its brilliant rays stretching the spans of the earth, my 2nd born would frequent a sterile world filled with glaring lights, scan faces unrecognizable, his soft flesh poked and prodded. The loud clammer of machines and monitors, the hum drum of physicians and nurses.....this was the life he knew.

How could we be crowned with another gift? How would we pour ourselves into another precious baby? Would he live? Would he present with the same ailments as big brother? Worries that welled deep within. And so it was, we would open our hearts...... again.

Sickness enveloped, nearly claimed this being as I lay helpless, IV's infusing, my veins begging for hydration, my heart longing to be mommy and wife. That little green hospital room familiar, so familiar it became home to me on that day.... the day of little ones 2nd birthday. My soul was tested, my heart ached. I longed for birthday boy's embrace and to celebrate the miracle of his life....his life he was so laboriously fighting for. The tears flooded my face and soul. How God, is any good going to come of this? I desperately yearned to be home with my babies and be the wife I knew my husband needed. Oh if I could have seen in my desperation the work God was doing.

Yes, these boys would be just fine as they watched Daddy work and cook, and do laundry, and be mommy and take care of mommy. These boys would experience the pressure doing its work. This man of mine, fearlessly leading the bunch, would open his tender heart and a blueprint for keeping the fragile hearts of these all- too- soon - to - be men would be birthed.

Why is it so hard to accept God's gifts so freely and unreservedly? The veil covers my eyes and I see through my lens instead of His. Lord I want to see. I want to see the sacred in the everyday. I want to freely accept His unforced gifts and walk in gratitude for all He has blessed this undeserving heart. And so, I have embarked on a journey of gratitude.......

3 healthy little boys

my husband's walk with our Lord

prayers of my little boys

warm breezes

days full of sunshine

wind chimes chiming

birds singing



family devotions around the table

smiles from my blue eyed baby



good food

coke =)

smell of fresh baked cookies

innocence of children

I look over, his eyes meet mine, and laughter overtakes him. Oh what joy God has lavished on this momma.
I sit and rock this blue eyed wonder boy of mine, I am humbled that God would so graciously entrust this broken girl to a lifetime of love fulfilling, His love fulfilling.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God.
1 John 3:1

holy experience


Stacey said...

This is beautiful "I am humbled that God would so graciously entrust this broken girl to a lifetime of love fulfilling, His love fulfilling. "

May God make those moments last forever!

Stacey from the Gratitude Community

mom2six said...

Beauty for ashes indeed. I love that 1 John verse - our God is lavish!

Sara said...

Delightful to meet you and share in your thankfulness today. Simply beautiful, simply today.

New to the gratitude community,

GlowinGirl said...

Beautiful thoughts, beautiful blue eyes. So many gifts to count . . . .

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post...I can relate more than you know. Thank you for sharing.

Traci Michele said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhh those eyes, cheeks, and lips! So sweet and I LOVE your list!

Nice to meet you! Found you over at A Holy Experience. Looking forward to connecting with you lots more!

I'm your newest follower!


Donna said...

Your gratitude is palpable. Your post points me to the Gift-Giver. Thank you.