Monday, April 26, 2010

A Sacred Journey

We sat motionless, paralyzed. We stared in disbelief, not sure if we had heard correctly. Our hopes and dreams began to unravel before our very eyes.
Our son had a heart condition that could claim his life.
The days that were to follow would require magnitudes of faith.

Left to contemplate our thoughts over the course of the next week, emotions ran high and tensions steady. One sleepless night turned into another and another. We began to pour every fragment of time into searching scripture, KNOWING and RESTING in God's promises. His peace began to flood our soul and permeate our hearts. I began to realize, to know and understand God's Sovereignty.

I begged and pleaded with God not to take my precious baby home just yet. His life could not be cut short. I had not spent enough time with him or taught him all that he needed to know. I had not spent enough nights tucking him in "as snug as a bug in a rug". As I stared into his big brown eyes and studied his tiny little hands, I wept knowing that God had knitted him together in my womb and He was much more capable than I in safegaurding this precious little angel.

I realized for the first time how much God loves his children. His soul desire is that He would have our hearts and that we would walk in obedience. I was reminded of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego who were about to be thrown into the furnace. They replied, "the God we serve is able to save us from it, but even if He does not, we will not serve your gods". I began to walk in obedience through faith and lay my baby at the altar. Though I do not know the outcome.....I will serve you!

I poured over Scripture and begged God to give me a clear sign. I wanted to know that I was praying His will....His will that my baby not be sick. I was brought to Jeremiah 29:11-13. I began to sob as I read the words on the page. "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart". HE WANTS TO GIVE MY BABY A HOPE AND A FUTURE!

As I sit and wait, I rest knowing that God's plans are far superior than mine. My mind cannot even begin to comprehend his supremacy. I am nothing. The only difference between the dirt I stand on and the dirt I hold in my hand is the breath of God! I stand in resolve knowing that He is able to immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us.

Though I do not know the outcome of this journey...Yet I will praise Him!

10 comments:

Rebecca said...

Lindsey,

As I read this, my heart is breaking for you. I wish there was some way I could make things better. I know that this is all out of our hands.... As I read your page I was on the treadmill listing to exercise music and when I got to the bottom of your page and tried to start writing "You are my King" started playing on my iPod... I know the Lord has a plan for your Austin.
We love you all so much and will be praying for you.
Becky & Steven

amyn said...

Wow....that is the God we serve! Only He could allow you to write such a masterpiece in a time such as this! That is truly the peace of God, the peace that passeth ALL understanding! Thank you Lord that you have a plan for our precious Austin, that you love him far more than we can even imagine. Thank you for the peace and strength that you are covering Ryan & lindsey with even now. And thank you that you are with us through this fire! I love you Linds!!

Amy

Anonymous said...

Lindsey,

I had tears in my eyes reading this! I am so glad Austin is blessed with parents like the both of you to love and care for him. Thankful that you have completely surrended this to God, as their is nothing to great for Him to overcome. I will continue praying for all of you. Love you all, Blair

Jackie said...

My heart breaks for all of you. Please know that you are in my prayers, as well as the prayers of my fellow Bible study members. I love that you have claimed Jer. 29:11 as His promise for Austin, that is such a perfect scripture for all of us but even more so in troubled times. I love and care for all of you so much.

Aunt Jackie

Paula said...

WOW!! I am so proud of you and so thankful that my son has you for his wife and my grandbabies have you for their mommy. I sit with tears streaming down my face(who wouldn't) as I hear the pain in your heart, but rejoice that our God is giving you and Ryan such strength. I am so thankful that the Faithful and Sovereign God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ever ask or even begin to imagine. I love you, Mom Shedd

Peggy Gatlin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peggy Gatlin said...

Lindsey & Family,
I know that we are just getting to know your beautiful little boy and your family, but as you stand in need of prayer, we are right by your side. Our Lord is MIGHTY and all knowing! We are praying for Austin, your family, and the doctors daily. He brightens our classroom with his big beautiful smile every time he walks in. God Bless you all! The Gatlin family

Lindsey said...

I am brought to tears and want to thank you, my dearest friends, for embarking on this journey with us, for standing by our side and in the gap when we are too tired, stressed, and overwhelmed. You all show Gods amazing love as you walk alongside us with words of encouragement, scripture, and prayers.

barbara said...

Lindsey, I just found your blog today. Wow,it took my breath away!God is certainly doing a marvelous work in you and your family. I know what it means to lay a son on the altar as did our forefather, Abraham, and to know that God is able to raise him, if need be, from the dead--but if not, He has a better plan for him. God's peace is incredible in the midst of the storm--what a Mighty God we serve!!

Anonymous said...

Lindsey,
Aunt Barbara led Grandma and I to your blog today. God has blessed you with an amazing ability to share your thoughts and faith with others. Thank you for sharing your heart. I am deeply moved by your words. Please know that we are praying for all of you and especially Austin. We're here if you need anything!
Love,
Erica (and Jem and Elayna)