A Sacred Journey
We sat motionless, paralyzed. We stared in disbelief, not sure if we had heard correctly. Our hopes and dreams began to unravel before our very eyes.
Our son had a heart condition that could claim his life.
The days that were to follow would require magnitudes of faith.
Left to contemplate our thoughts over the course of the next week, emotions ran high and tensions steady. One sleepless night turned into another and another. We began to pour every fragment of time into searching scripture, KNOWING and RESTING in God's promises. His peace began to flood our soul and permeate our hearts. I began to realize, to know and understand God's Sovereignty.
I begged and pleaded with God not to take my precious baby home just yet. His life could not be cut short. I had not spent enough time with him or taught him all that he needed to know. I had not spent enough nights tucking him in "as snug as a bug in a rug". As I stared into his big brown eyes and studied his tiny little hands, I wept knowing that God had knitted him together in my womb and He was much more capable than I in safegaurding this precious little angel.
I realized for the first time how much God loves his children. His soul desire is that He would have our hearts and that we would walk in obedience. I was reminded of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego who were about to be thrown into the furnace. They replied, "the God we serve is able to save us from it, but even if He does not, we will not serve your gods". I began to walk in obedience through faith and lay my baby at the altar. Though I do not know the outcome.....I will serve you!
I poured over Scripture and begged God to give me a clear sign. I wanted to know that I was praying His will....His will that my baby not be sick. I was brought to Jeremiah 29:11-13. I began to sob as I read the words on the page. "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart". HE WANTS TO GIVE MY BABY A HOPE AND A FUTURE!
As I sit and wait, I rest knowing that God's plans are far superior than mine. My mind cannot even begin to comprehend his supremacy. I am nothing. The only difference between the dirt I stand on and the dirt I hold in my hand is the breath of God! I stand in resolve knowing that He is able to immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us.
Though I do not know the outcome of this journey...Yet I will praise Him!